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My fingers shake as I undo my shoes. I slip them off followed by my socks. I stand and undo the button to my pants then unzip. I pause. I inhale deeply, hold it for moment then loudly release in a sound of resignation. I am not a virgin but I’ve only been with one guy and that was with a former co-worker when I was 18.Thoughts go through my head. Why does he want to do this? Stupid question. Obvious answer. Why me? That is a better question but I have no answer.“Are you going to continue or should I wait for your mom to come home and fuck her?”I swallow. My mom? I can’t imagine my mom having to deal with this man. She’s never dated since dad disappeared. 20 years without sex.Without hesitation, I pull my pants over my hips and drop them. I step out of them. My underwear is plain white. I don’t feel a need to feel sexy at work. I put my fingers into the elastic and down they go. I step out and now I’m naked.“What a great ass!” he compliments.I stand still and silent.“Turn around.”And. People get out of the way much faster now.Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.The biggest lie I tell myself is...”I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet... Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.At my age “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.Actually I’m not complaining because I am a.
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