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”“Yeah I bet,” Nigel said. “So where did you sleep when you were at her cottage in the Cotswolds?”“She has two bedrooms in her cottage,” I said.“And you didn’t sleep with HER?”“Come on Nigel,” I replied, “I told you that she’s like my mother’s age. She has a guest bedroom, for crying out loud.” At his eye-rolling grimace I went on, “I told you before that she is a nurturing female—a motherly type—who has taken a liking to me. I don’t know why. Maybe she always wanted to have a kid like me.” I laughed as I saw Ryan smirk and his eyes light up. I could hear the words he was thinking: “What a bullshitter you are Arthur.” He was not disputing anything I said though, so I gathered that he was on board with me.“But Ryan saw her when she picked you up,” Nigel said. “He said she was hot.”“She IS,” I said, “but so’s my mother.” I gave derisive laugh. “And I sleep in my room at home by the way.”“Likely story,” Nigel replied.With an aggressive edge to my voice, I said, “Are you accusing me of. ’ With that, she whipped off her nightgown and jumped in bed beside me. Upon closer inspection, the woman who Vinnied accompanied intrigued me. ‘Psst, Vinnie, come here.’ ‘What is it, Freddie,’ said Vinnie leaning down over me. Meanwhile, I kept staring up at Vinnie’s friend. I could have sworn she had an Adam’s apple. There, she does have an Adam’s apple. ‘Did you know that your woman friend is a guy?’ ‘Yeah, I know,’ he said turning to look at James, smiling, and waving at him. ‘That’s my friend, James, my cellmate from prison who I told you about.’ He nudged me with an elbow in the ribs. ‘We were close, you know, tight, if you know what I mean.’ He inserted his index finger in the hole he made with his thumb and index finger on his other hand. ‘Oh, gees, Vinnie, that’s another image that I could have done without.’ ‘Say hello to my friend, James.’ I covered my nakedness with a pillow. ‘Hi, James,’ I said with an exaggerated wave, ‘how you doin’?’ ‘I’m doing well,’ said James. Gees,.
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