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”Craig thanked his mother and ran out the door. But something about his mother’s explanation bothered him. So he sought out his father. Dad was in the garage.“Dad,” Craig said, “the guys at school are using words I don’t understand.”“What words, son?” “Pussy and bitch. I asked Mom, but I don’t think she told me the right meanings.”“Son, never ask your mother about these things. Ask me. Let me explain what they mean for you.” He pulled a Playboy from his workbench, turned to the centrefold and drew a circle around the pubic area.“Everything inside the circle is pussy,” he said.“Okay, Dad. Then what’s a bitch?”“Everything outside the circle.”Private LessonsA husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons. The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he says, “No no, no, you’re gripping the club way too hard!”“Well, what should I do?” asks the man.“Hold the club gently,” the pro replied,. "Like quicksilver, the man's demeanor changed. He went from amiable host to Mad Hatter in the blink of an eye."The item I am seeking is small, no bigger than a box of matchsticks. It's black, square with a metal casing. Have you seen such an item?"Arching a single eyebrow, she saw the way his eyes gleamed as if shining with some bedeviling light. She was afraid to answer him, afraid what he would do if he didn't get the answer he wanted."I suggest you answer me, my dear," he said as he stood up. "Shall I tell you something of myself?" I... ," she began, her voice trailing off as the maniacal gleam in his eyes unnerved her."Oh, do let me," he giggled. "I was a careless youth, tucked away in a British orphanage at the tender at of seven. My uncle cared little for children. He would have nothing to do with me after my parents were good enough to die. Have you ever seen the warehouses, those asylums that Christian charity bestows upon the unfortunate children of the world?"He stopped,.
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