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I couldn’t cry at first. I was in shock. It was when I looked down at her tiny face, and she looked like she was only sleeping, laying so peacefully in my arms did I crack. I started to cry, which I think relieved everyone, but then I couldn’t stop crying. I was crying for Rebekka Rose, I was crying for the father she never knew, and the man who never had the chance to be a father, I was crying for me and I was crying because I didn’t know how not too anymore. After I while I just became too tired to do anything but lay there. They had taken her from me after a while. I laid there while my mom held me and my family watched me. I couldn’t do anything, I didn’t want to do anything. It felt like the life had been sucked right out of me. Eventually they made me leave, made me go home, told my family to watch me. I wasn’t going to do anything. I had no energy to do anything, never mind what they obviously thought I was going to do. I laid in bed all day, didn’t sleep much, didn’t eat. . found." There aren't any guarantees that this will continue," I warned. "And I've got to tell you, Mary Jane, I'm kind of a fair-weather guy on this. I'm not going to hang around and watch her fall off the wagon repeatedly, like a confirmed alcoholic."For me, this is something I want to take on -- this reclamation thing. But I really doubt my ability to get knocked down and then get up for more. It's important to me -- it's critical to me -- that Juniper really change. And right away, too!"I'll try to be clear: I think I can forgive and forget just about anything she's done before now ... But if this thing has such a tight grip on her that she continues the same behavior in the future? I'm afraid I'll give up on her pretty fast. I'm sorry. But that's the way I feel about it. If you're looking for a hero who's gonna save your daughter, you got the wrong guy. I'm not him. I'm not interested."Mary Jane was still crying, but it seemed to be just residual sniffling from the emotional.
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