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To really help, though, I'll need more information. I don't know what to watch for." Makes sense. Sara has a combination of mental problems coupled with a drug dependency. I think her biggest problem was and is her ex-husband. He's an uptight, self-righteous asshole with a lot of money. He constantly harangued Sara, made her feel incompetent, less than worthless, and slowly shattered any self-confidence she ever had. Shortly before she became pregnant with little Donna, that's her daughter, Sara experienced her first panic attack. That's when the asshole hired the psychiatrist I fired shortly after my arrival here in Denver. Between her husband and her doctor, Sara's feelings of inadequacy increased, as did the frequency of her panic attacks. After Donna was born, Sara fell into a deep postpartum depression, and her husband used this depression, along with some other and subsequent mental problems, against her to gain custody of their child when he divorced her. The fucker turned her. Once again that anger had risen in me. Once again I had gone off at the deep end and if I did it much more it would drown what relationship we had. Now I recalled the photo's and the videos. All that love. Was that why I got so angry? That it had all been taken away, ruined? What did she say?'This is inside you. I did what any wife would do. What do I have to do?'She was right. I recognised suddenly how much she was trying to win me back. How much she loved me. Every time she did it I knocked her back. How stupid! I did love her but this god-forsaken anger would keep rising every time we got close.I rang her back and when she answered I burst into tears and between the heaving and the sobbing, apologised over and over and babbled on and on about my troubles and this wild and untamed anger which I could not seem to be able to control. What else I said I can't remember, but it can't have been coherent. After some time, I ground to a halt.She said, "OK, but you need professional help,".
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