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The memory of my lost love raised me to new heights of passion that night, for I replayed, in my mind, all those sessions long ago.I had to wait for two days before I could retrieve the video from my car, my girlfriend was out for her weekly keep fit night with two of her friends. I pushed the cassette into the slot with a shaking hand. The first thing I found out that it was my EX who was the subject of the video. The first half-hour or so was just the party in general but it clearly showed her as one of the guests.The screen went blank then came on again, now obviously later in the evening for I could see that most of the guests had already left. After panning the room the camera stopped on the seemingly drunk Fiona dancing slowly all by herself in the middle of the room. The light was not good but the camera must have been a good one and seemed to handle it ok. After a few minutes she was joined by a large coloured guy who gyrated slowly in time with her movements. She showed no. "When Charlene died a part of me died with her. I've been where you are now just as have many of your other relatives and friends. I tried to kill my sorrow with the Glenlivet too. Honey you can't spend the rest of your life sitting here sucking on that bottle no matter how good its contents are. A good scotch can make you feel better for a while. It can deaden your pain somewhat but I guarantee you are still thinking about what you have lost. It can't make you forget. You really don't want to forget. All you want to do is lose the pain. Honey the only way you can lose the pain is to move on."After Charlene died I did the same thing you are doing. I sat down here for hours at a time, day after day trying to make myself feel better and wallowing in my sorrow. I was miserable. Your mother and grandmother finally talked some sense into me. You have to let it go and move on. I know I wasn't injured physically like you and your uncle Jeff was but I had a soul searing, soul destroying loss..
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