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I was dreading the next few minutes, but it had to be done."Jerry, I need a huge favor. I caught my wife in bed with a guy today and I need you to file divorce papers for me". I could see his chin drop at the news."Holy shit, Jack. You are the last person I would expect to hear that from. Is there any possibility of a mistake?" No, no mistake. Her parents were with me when we walked into her hotel room together."Jerry got me to settle down and stuck a beer in my hand. I had to tell the whole story from the beginning. Telling it was no easier than experiencing it had been. Just as I had finished my story, the cold ball that had been in my gut since I stepped into that hotel suite erupted. I lost my beer, the one sip of bourbon, and all that remained of my breakfast on Jerry's patio. Great. Not only was I a cuckold, but I was losing control of my bodily functions as well.Calling for Mary to bring me a damp towel, Jerry got me into the bathroom. Dry heaves wracked me as I tried to. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!”The husband, being a typical non-romantic male, replied: “Am on the toilet ... Please advise.”At an Irish wedding the minister offered this toast:“Marriage is the union of two people who bring meaning to one another and make their life bearable. Will all the men please go stand beside that one person who has made their life bearable!”The bartender was almost crushed to death.These are compliments of AnonymousGroup Therapy...A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,” he observed.To the first mother, Mary, he said, “You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter Candy.”He turned to the second Mom, Ann: “Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.”He turned to the third Mom, Joyce :.
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