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.... "No. They're all at the funeral."--A Cape Bretoner walked into a crowded local bar, waving his Colt 45 with an 8 shot clip and yelled,"Who in here has been screwing my wife?"A Newfie from the back of the bar yelled back,"You're gonna need more ammo!"WHILE ON A ROAD TRIP, AN ELDERLY COUPLE, STOPPED AT A PIZZA HUT FOR LUNCH.AFTER FINISHING THEIR MEAL, THEY LEFT THE RESTAURANT, AND RESUMED THEIR TRIP TO PHOENIX.WHEN LEAVING, THE ELDERLY WOMAN UNKNOWINGLY LEFT HER GLASSES ON THE TABLE, AND SHE DIDN'T MISS THEM UNTIL THEY HAD BEEN DRIVING FOR ABOUT FORTY MINUTES.BY THEN, TO ADD TO THE AGGRAVATION, THEY HAD TO TRAVEL QUITE A DISTANCE BEFORE THEY COULD FIND A PLACE TO TURN AROUND, IN ORDER TO RETURN TO THE RESTAURANT TO RETRIEVE HER GLASSES.ALL THE WAY BACK, THE ELDERLY HUSBAND BECAME THE CLASSIC GROUCHY OLD MAN. HE FUSSED AND COMPLAINED, AND SCOLDED HIS WIFE RELENTLESSLY DURING THE ENTIRE RETURN DRIVE. THE MORE HE CHIDED HER, THE MORE AGITATED HE BECAME. HE JUST WOULDN'T LET UP FOR A. Mummy: Nahi please abhi nahi.Abhishek: Jaisa aap kaho.Fir good night likha dono ne. Uske bad koi message nahi tha. Meri mummy ka behaviour ek dum normal tha. Shayad woh khus thi isse kyuki jitna bold hoke unhone mere dost se woh sab bate ki isse yahi lag raha tha.Mummy aur main sone chale gaye. Kuch der hue the mujhe meri mummy ki phone pe bat karne ki aawaz aa rahi thi. Mummy ne lagbagh 2 minutes bat ki uske bad unhone phone rakh diya. Mujhe us samay yahi laga ki shayad mere papa ka call hoga. Lekin aisa nahi tha.Kariban 1 baje mujhe apne ghar ki dhire se gate khulne ki aawaz ayi. Main bed se dhire se utra aur halka gate ke pass gaya. Mujhe mera dost dikha aur meri mummy unke kamre ke taraf dhire dhire pao karke jate hue dikhe.Mujhe khat se mummy ke room ka gate band hone ki aawaz aayi. Main dabe pao meri mummy ke gate ke pass gaya aur khada ho gaya. Abhishek, “Light jalaiye na andhera hai bohut.” Mummy, “Nahi light mat jalao. Naveen soya hua hai na jag jayega.”Uske bad khamosh aawaz.
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