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One morning mother had put an empty cat food tin on the draining board, and she found the kitten up there helping himself. Having shooed him down she removed the draining board which sat on top of the washing machine. She filled the machine with hot water, soap powder and clothes, and left it, to get on with other things. Marmalade wasn't daft and he thought he'd have another go at the cat food tin, so he jumped up and ... straight into the hot soapy water. And in short order straight out again. He now proceeded to wash himself, and there shortly appeared a light ginger tom, and you could see why he was called Mrmalade. No one ever wrote to Proctor and Gamble to tell them how effective their washing powder was on cats.There was always a problem with the geese, the goat and the dog, which would follow you down the road if you went out, and to cap it all there were chickens. Father, when asked what he did for a living on one occasion said 'Poultry Advisor'. When we asked what he meant. "Make sure there's some lace and maybe little bows. I don't want to seeany baggy cotton ones. Go for bikini-cut. Some with thongs in the backwould be right for you, with your squishy tush. Now put your clothesback on and get moving." While you're out," Rock added, "you can stop at Star Liquors. I'llphone in an order. This place needs to be stocked up, for our drinkingneeds. All the sex your wife and me will be having is going to bethirsty work."I cringed before his words and all they implied. It was a relief to getout of there, though my two stops were not welcome. I went to the low-end store and found panties. To be safe, I got them small. Then I wentto the liquor store on the way back, where Rock had called in anexpensive order. I staggered out, struggling with the weight of a boxfull of booze, and managed to get it into the trunk of my car.When I got home, the hot-to-trot pair were stretched out on the bed,still in their underwear. Penny had on a bra that barely.
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