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His friends see him and ask “Hey man, what are you supposed to be?”He replies “Oh, I’m dressed as a turtle”His friend responds “A turtle? How are you supposed to be a turtle? And who is that woman on your back?”The man replies “Oh, that’s Michelle” –Thank Phoenix for the following.‎ Three men were travelling in Europe and happened to meet at a bar in London, England. One man was from the US, one from France and one from Canada. They got acquainted and started talking about their problems with their wives.The American began by saying: “I told my wife in no uncertain terms that from now on she would have to do all the cooking. Well the first day after I told her, I saw nothing. The second day I saw nothing. But on the third day when I came home from work, the table was set, wonderful dinner was prepared with wine and even dessert.”Then the man from France spoke up: “I sat my wife down and told her that from now on she would have to do all the shopping and also all the cleaning. The. I Woke Feeling A Tad Bit Horny, I Must Have Dreamed Of My Ex And The Crazy Sex We Had. I Smirked And Walked To My Drawer To Get My New Toy ;D I Smiled And Slipped My Pants Off. I Laid Down Again And Slipped The Tip Of The Toy Into My Wet Pussy. Moaning A Tad Bit I Looked Down And Slipped It Halfway In. Moaning A Little Louder I Realized It Was Only 6:30 Am And Quited Down A Little Bit. But It Was To Late. My brother Walked In With A Slight Boner. " Jeremy! " He Smiled And Walked Over. "Get Out Jeremy, I Will NOT Do This." Although You Were Pretty Horny You Could Not Fuck Jeremy! He Was Nineteen And His Dick Was Pretty Big But I Would Just Feel Slutty. As The Vibration Continues And He Just Stands There I Think..Well..I've Got Nothing To Lose. I Get Up, Slipping The Dildo Out Of My Pussy And Walking Over To Him. He Smirked And Lowly Said, Obviously Trying To Seduce Me "I Win." I Giggle And He Rips My Shirt Open And Gropes My Breasts Through My Bra. He Smiles And Reaches To Undo It..
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