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"What the hell!" Bruce yelled, his voice sounder higher in his ears."What are you guys doing?"Instead of answering their leader, one of the boy's, Lucas, doubled overin pain, his once short brown hair flowing over his face. "What thehell!" he cried, his pink tipped fingernails trying desperately to tearway the pink blouse that he now wore.Allison giggled as Lucas's face slowly became more girlish, mascara andlip gloss slowly materializing over his frightened features. "Lookinggood Linda!" Allison said, much to Lucas's shame.Bruce, and the rest of his crew, oddly found that they could no longermove. They all stood in place as the changes that were destined for themravaged their poor friend.Lucas stared down at his open wedged heels, pink toenail polishglimmering up at him. "Nooooo...." Lucas whimpered as he stumbledforward, his white skirt flowing graciously around his new hips. "I'mnot....im....not...."Bruce and his friends watched in horror as Lucas's face grimaced in pain,his hands. “Goddamn it Lance,” she said. “I’m looking for a man who can find this nubbin, this pearl, this little man in a boat.” She pointed to the item she was referring to once again. “That’s what I’m hiring you for. Capisce?” 3 Now that I finally understood what she wanted I got right to work. The first thing I did was take out a classified ad. “Help us find the missing clitoris.” It read. “Desperate beautiful woman. Big reward. Apply at Lance Armstrong Detective Agency, 211 South 4th.” When I got to my office on the morning the ad came out I found a long line of men stretching around the block. There must have been hundreds of them. Carlotta was waiting by the door. She was smiling. “There must be someone in among this crowd who knows how to find a pleasurenut,” she said. “Here’s how we’ll do this,” I said after we’d climbed the stairs and entered my office. I threw my fedora onto the hat rack. “You sit on the desk, be careful of the splinters, and I’ll send in one man at a time. I’ll.
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