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Who knows?"I know for sure that I need to get used to the idea."I understand."And, you know that Katie and I are a package deal."Oh, I know that for sure."Nathan -- will you be all right?"Of course I'll be all right. Say -- by this weekend I should be done ripping those CDs. You know -- that museum exhibits on vampires made me think. I was reminded me of a film I saw a year or so ago. It gets to the bottom line of being a vampire, I think. I can rent it from Netflix. If I order it now, it'll certainly be here by Saturday."Is this a film Katie would enjoy?"Oh, no. It's definitely not for Katie. Maybe in five or six years she'd be equipped to handle it."What's it called? Would I know it?"It's a Swedish film, 'Let the Right One In.' It's in Swedish with subtitles. They've remade it into an independent film over here called 'Let Me In.'"I haven't heard of either of them."Would you watch it with me?"Sure."I could bring it over Saturday afternoon or evening. Do you and Katie like Chinese. At first, I decided to be open with you and fully admit when you made me jealous. I remember the soul-crushing night that you deadass stopped talking to me, mid-conversation, because she was outside your door. That night will torment me forever. All the possibilities of what could have happened. Never was my jealousy more than that moment, or any moment I remember it still. It was a pain that left a tiny scar that I could have avoided. However, that night also forced me to address my own jealous feelings and find a way to cope.My current coping mechanism is to embrace it fully. Yes, I get jealous. No that feeling won’t go away. But I will use it to my own choosing, hopefully creating some provocative writing from it instead of letting it consume me whole. I have imagined our trio in every possible way, you and her while I am left out, me fucking someone while she denies you again, me and my ex as you tear yourself down in your own lonely room. Admit the feelings and own them. Be the.
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