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Without batting an eye, the priest says, ‘Son, you’ve just witnessed a miracle. Tell me, where is this man?‘Flat on his arse, Father, over by the holy water.’Wayne: “Your new secretary is very sexy...” Gary: “Thanks! She’s actually a robot, named Doreen...If you squeeze her right breast, she takes dictation & if you squeeze her left breast, she types letters. Will work as long as you like, no complaining, no sick days, no medical, no dental...I’ll lend her to you for a day & you can see how functional and efficient she is”.Next day, Wayne calls Gary from the hospital & shouts:“Gary ... You bastard! You didn’t tell me that the hole between Doreen’s legs is a Pencil Sharpener...”These are compliments of Smokey JoeRastus and Liza where were making love on railway tracks. The driver of an oncoming train sounded his horn and applied the brakes and the train stopped bare inches from the couple. When asked why they hadn’t moved, Rastus replied, “Well, the train was comin’, and Liza was. Despite what I just said, I have no intention of micromanaging your life. I won’t be choosing your clothes, except maybe play outfits, I won’t be checking up to see where you’ve been or how long you stayed at a certian location, or who you spend your time with while I work, as long as you’re home when you’re supposed to be. Acceptable?”They looked like bobble heads nodding.“All right, this is the plan. We’re going to stay here at least one more week, relax, get to know each other a little better. We’ve had plenty of distractions up until now. Then, if we’re still all in agreement, we go home, home meaning my house. You guys should like it. From there, well, from there we’ll just have to see.”“One more thing I need to stress again. You’re mine. MINE. If you as much as kiss another person in a sexual way, you’re both gone. I don’t care if the other wasn’t even there when it happened. This is effect makes you each others’ guardian, keeping you on the straight and narrow. You may talk.
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