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." I lied, waving my hands around. "It all just happened. Okay, I let it happen, and I've really enjoyed how things have worked out. But the point is that I'm not something you can just loan out to your friends at will." We weren't..." Diana started to say, but I held up my hand."Just a second. Now for the record, I am perfectly agreeable to playing vacation host. I don't want too many at a time, but one or two would be fine. Now as far as inviting your friends over for a ... uhhh ... what should we call it ... a sex vacation?"Diana spoke up as soon as I paused. "We were never going to invite anyone over here without your permission, let alone promise sexual favors. That is why we've broached the subject to begin with." My apologies. Maybe I was overreacting a little." We can understand your reaction. I myself would react ... badly ... if someone tried to offer sex with me without consulting me first."Kara joined the conversation at this point. "One thing to remember, Frank, is that. I was trying to show, through humor, how I wasn't like all those other guys. And by doing so I was exactly like all those other guys. Except that I suck at reading women and thus I don't know when it's time to bail out. And I'm telling this penis joke when we're alone, in the park downtown, at night. Could I have been any more skeezy?So she suddenly stands up. Furious. Hands on her hips and everything."I swear to God," she said, "you men are all alike! It's always about that thing in your pants!"Guilty as charged.Then she said something weird. At the time I thought maybe she pitied me.Now I realize she was cursing me. As in, putting a curse on me.She said: "That Dick of yours is going to ruin your life."And then she slapped me. So hard I saw stars. Everything went white.When I came to, I was sprawled out on the ground next to the park bench. It was dawn. Damn, she hit me hard. Fucking Tae-Bo.I picked myself up, went home, rubbed one out, and slept away the rest of the long.
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