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" She smiled softly. "Brother Bob, it is because I prayed. One does not travel so many kilometres ... miles, and end up with a good man. Not when there are so many bad men."He smiled. "You do believe that, don't you, Lita?"She nodded.He caught me in a steady gaze. "This is pre-marriage counseling, Dave. Carlita sees you as an answered prayer. Are you prepared to accept that responsibility with her ... in her life?" I would not be here, Brother Bob," I said. "I fought with myself, my head, my own heart, over Carlita."He smiled. "Then tomorrow afternoon, Carlita says she has a dress to wear for her wedding. I will gather witnesses..." We have witnesses also, Brother Bob," Carlita said. "It is my surprise for my husband. His sister and her friend and his brother and his wife and children will be here to see me and Dave become married." She turned to me. "I hope you are not angry. I did this on my own. Your family becomes my family and I think they should be here." You're perfect, my. "German," she replies."Occupation?" No, just here for a few days."I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.I woke up this morning at 8 and could sense something was wrong.I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do.Then I remembered "the local cafe serves breakfast until 11."Got caught having a pee in the local swimming pool today.The lifeguard shouted at me so loud I nearly fell in.I woke to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and noticed a burglar sneaking through next door's garden.Suddenly my neighbour came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel killing him instantly.He then began to dig a grave with the shovel.Astonished, I got back into bed.My wife said, "Darling, you're shaking, what is it?" You'll never believe what I've just seen!" I said, "That tosser next door has still got my bloody shovel."A man is seeking to join.
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