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“I SMELL THE BLOOD OF AN ENGLISHMAN!”Mortimer’s beady eyes spied the frantic movement of both Jack, running hell-bent-for-leather, and the wings of his magic goose flapping as Jack held the goose out in front of him, trying to keep that nasty beak from pecking his eyes out.“FUM, FOE, FIE, FEE!” screamed Mortimer. “TIS A STINKING ENGLISHMAN STEALING MY GOOSE I SEE!”“Ohhhhh shit!” moaned Jack.The goose did. And for you city folk, you need to know that geese excel at that particular bodily function. More about that later.It was a footrace. It shouldn’t have been much of a contest at all, what with Mortimer covering as much ground in one stride as it took Jack three to traverse.But that goose unlimbered a good five or six pounds of slippery gray goo which, after the first part struck Jack and he then moved the goose sideways, landed in more or less of a long strip on the groud behind him. Mortimer, running full tilt, extended a foot with the intent of just stomping the thief. That foot. A buck needed a harem of 10 to 15 does to stay healthy. Too many does and the bucks wasted away and the does would fight each other for attention, ending up hurt.Too many deer overall led to them getting killed on the highways and moving to the developments, eating flowers to upset the rich folks. The state highway had crews dedicated to picking up the carcasses off the roadways.The taxidermist was there measuring the antlers and recording the number, and then worked a price to put the head on a nice mount.“Go ahead and mount it,” I told him; “The club can use today’s hunt for advertising. A big poster and endorsement for the gun maker will work,” I replied to his look. “Let’s get a picture with all the deer and the hunters together that we can use on the poster.”The girls watched as the taxidermist made the cuts to get enough neck to make a nice looking mount. I expected them to be squeamish but was surprised; they watched closely, pointing and talking.Andy called and I walked away.
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