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"Well, Misty was in the next state, so the ".com" was way less expensive, but it was also less personal.The first E-mail was ignored, then the second, third, fourth, and fifth!Finally, Martin E-mailed his niece that there must be something wrong if she couldn't even respond with something so succint as "fuck off," so he would be arriving on campus next Friday unless he heard back from her.That Friday, remembering that he never bluffed with the kids - if he told them to go to bed, "or else", they KNEW that there really was an "OR ELSE" - Martin arrived on campus and was steered to his niece's dorm.That they shared the same last name made it easier to convince the hall monitor who he was, and Misty was summoned to the main desk.Misty was rather perfunctory in her greeting, but dutifully led Martin to her room."First things first," Martin said, "Is your roommate..." Gay?" Misty finished. "Not at all, and she's away for three more days, if you mean to have a scream out with me."Misty had. I expect my powers of speech to return very shortly. Come on! Say something!“A flood, huh?” Whoa, look at me go! I’m talking! “Anything I can do to help?”“Did you drive a backhoe here today?”“Uh… no…” Jesus Christ. She’s messing with me and I still ain’t got shit going!“So then you aren’t exactly my knight in shining armor, are you.”“My armor is a little rusty, I’ll admit.”“Yeah, I can tell.”“You’re the only one here? Must be something I can do, the hotel guy isn’t coming back until sunset.” I took off my Ray-Ban Aviators so I could get a better look at this woman.“Yeah, it’s just me. Fucking Spackler…“ I raised my eyebrows… “got the Locke stuck in the mud and then broke his ankle. So yeah it’s only me… what? Don’t they swear in the Navy anymore?”“No ma’am we certainly do not. They busted me down to Private once for saying ‘darn it’.”“They don’t have Privates in the Navy.”I looked down at my crotch, looked back at her, then leaned forward, “I beg to differ. We most certainly do have.
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