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You know that old saying, "Show me a husband who doesn't eat pussy, and I'll show you a husband who's wife I can steal"? I thought I was pretty safe. So imagine my shock when I got home from work one Friday and found the house empty of all our stuff. A note on the mirror explained that she was leaving me and getting a divorce. And divorced we did get. And remarried she did get, shortly thereafter, to Bernie. A guy who works in her building. She had always referred to Bernie as the geek who worked two floors below her office. Fast forward a couple of months. I am shopping at Best Buy for a new tv. Turns out Bev's sister, Bonnie works there. While the two of us had not been close while I was married to Bev, we were sort of friends and always got along. She certainly was not showing any animosity towards me that day. She greeted me warmly with a great big hug and a big hello and a smile and "How are you?I did buy a tv. Upon ringing up the sale, she asked me if I had time for coffee.. ” Rather reluctantly, Jaqueline lifted the hem of her dress, revealing that she was not wearing any knickers either. Ruth looked at the tattoo outline. “Wow, that really makes a statement, but why are you wearing a catheter?” “It’s a long story. It is a promise that I made to a parishioner.” “It’s because she was stealing the woman’s boyfriends and has agreed to be sealed up.” Mary enjoyed the effect that her statement was having on Jaqueline. “She has had her nipples pierced, as well. Show her, Jaqueline.” Jaqueline took her dress right off, and showed Ruth her new nipple rings; parading up and down in front of her so her breasts bounced and the rings swung in the holes. “Oh, very nice; and just been done by the looks of it. Come and see me if you have any problems, Vicar. I’ll be more than happy to look after you.” Mary wondered just how Ruth would, “look after” Jaqueline. The way that Ruth was looking at her body, there could well be a fight at the surgery over who had the first.
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