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"I know, that's so important," I said. "You have to find that time together. I think that's maybe one of the reasons why we..." I trailed off, not wanting to invent too many details about my fictitious tiger's equally fictitious mom, from whom I was fictitiously divorced, apparently. But I bit my lip to show sadness and guilt. "Maybe you should get a babysitter and then go get a hotel room, so you're completely out of the house and the two of you..." Yeah, well, I don't know how much interest there is," she said ruefully."Really? My, er, hmm-hrm's libido really went up after he was born," I said. "I mean, sure, we were too tired a lot of the time, but she--" I'm interested," she said. "Sometimes I'm REALLY interested. But he..." Oh," I said. There was silence for a minute."Maybe if I can get rid of a few pounds--" Why?" I said sharply."Why?" She seemed surprised that the question even needed to be asked."Yeah, why? You look great. If you don't mind my saying so." No, I don't mind a. His view of her ample chest seemed to make him forget food. He grabbed her hair, yelled "Come, bitch, to swive me royally, astride by damn," and pulled her from the table while she struggled quietly, panting and trying to push his arm away. Her uncle sat back in the corner, dabbing at his bleeding nose with a napkin.I pulled on the sergeant's shoulder, turned him around, hit him in the mouth and knocked him back toward his own table where the other Redcoat sat grinning. The sergeant scrambled to his feet with blood dribbling from his mouth and nose and yanked out his horse pistol with a curse. I was on him before he could cock it, twisted the big gun from his grasp and hit him in the ear with its heavy butt. He crumpled and his eyes rolled back."Let's get him out of here," I said to the other cavalryman. Together we pulled the stunned soldier to his feet and helped him outside where the cold air revived him."Go on," I told the private. "Get on the road. Write it off, just a barroom.
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