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Lesbian?” she squeaked. You could have heard a pin drop, even on the other side of town. How the hell was I supposed to answer that one? Hell, how was I supposed to even understand her question?“Okay, Jo, I give up” I sputtered. “I’m a guy, and guys read newspapers, not minds. What the hell are you talking about?” I was somewhere between being very confused, and feeling like the stupidest person on the planet.“Jim, I’m scared!” she almost screamed at me, then regathered her cmposure. “I was over a Sarah’s last night, and we were . . . well . . . fooling around, you know? Anyway, Sarah got some booze from her old man’s liquor cabinet, and we got a little drunk. Somewhere along the line, we started talking about . . . sex, among other things. She asked me if I’d ever kissed someone, you know, on the lips? So I told her the truth, no. Suddenly, she leaned over and kissed me! Not just a little peck, either, but a full-blown, open mouth, tongue swapping, french kiss. At first, I was. ‘Don’t you ever think there might be something a little less… well, tangible that could draw people together–get them to connect or reconnect? It isn’t all just about professional associations or wanting to work for the same company or join the same cult or whatever, is it?’ ‘What do you mean? The fundamental interconnectedness of all things—something like that?’ ‘Yeah, I guess.’ ‘I don’t think so. That’s fine for books and movies, where some omniscient storyteller gets to pull the strings, ignoring all sense of probability and cause and effect, but the real world is a lot more Newtonian.’ ‘Yeah, you’re probably right. Big school, big world. Hey, you think they’re serving manicotti tonight?’ ‘I don’t know, I didn’t look at the meal plan schedule they published for this week. Why?’ ”Cause they serve the worst manicotti in the world here. It looks like regurgitated snot. If that’s what they’re going to give us we should just go back to the apartment and make John share that big pile of.
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