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It is supposed to be only 7 inches, but it is a hell of a lot bigger than Pat when he is fully hard, and it is always ready. It even has a really strong suction base so I can mount it in the shower and ride it.I’ve been hiding my new toy under the mattress because I don’t want Pat to see it. He already thinks I am way too frisky. If he sees me with a black dildo, he might think I am a wanton slut. I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing in the bedroom, but I definitely don’t want the kids to find out. They would never believe me when I come down hard on THEM for playing with themselves if they knew about my secret stash of sex toys or some of the dirty stories I read when they are not home.I feel like I am cheating on my husband when I play with myself now because the ride is so different than when I am with him. I’ve had to pleasure myself a lot lately because Pat just can’t keep up with me.I feel a little guilty that many of my recent horny desires were inspired by the. In addition to this hopeless love that I feel, I find myself seething with anger at the fact that not once yet has he said anything to the effect of "I love you" or "I still love you." When it seemed to be no problem for him to express it in secret before. Hell, I think even an "I miss you" would suffice but instead, it has been "I still care for you," which only make me feel even more ridiculous about the way that I feel as well as disgusted with myself for allowing this to happen in the first place. I feel so foolish for having allowed myself to be caught up in a tangled web that only turned out to be full of lies and unrealistic dreams and expectations. As hard has it is to explain and in spite of all the hurt he has caused, I still believe that he is the person I am meant to be with in this life. It is not every day that you find someone who makes you feel the way he has made me feel and as pathetic as it is to admit, I don't want to let him go. So, with that, I have decided to.
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