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I paid my bill then began back to my car when suddenly this old lady spun me around and BZZZT! One million volts later, I woke up in Golden Glory being threatened with jail time. If that wasn’t acceptable, and it wasn’t, I could become a sort of handy-man to the women of the community for a while. It wasn’t like I could refute the charges made by an old woman against a man just passing through so guess which option I picked… Back to the tale….. “How do you feel,” Dr. Deidre asked. Her grey eyes seemed to pierce mine through her black framed bifocals in a way that combined both genuine concern and the odd under-the-microscope glare that only a doctor or police officer can convey. Such a glare demands that only the truth will be accepted. It was also irrelevant as, at the moment, I was in no shape to lie. I genuinely hurt. “What happened?” I weakly croaked, completely confused. “You passed out while mowing Ms Ellen’s yard,” she related with a slightly British accent as her. “Madam’s lactating funbags tend to leak quite often, given that she couldn’t milk them regularly during the day when I’m around. She obviously couldn’t wear nursing bras.” “And wearing a bra is a bloody pain when you are lactating and need to go milk boobs regularly”, Swati joined in. “So obviously I used to roam around without a bra, but I used to tape cotton balls onto my nipples.” “So much effort, just because I want to drink your lovely breast milk? I’m really sorry baby!” I said, genuinely horrified at the effort she was putting in for my stupid whim. “Oh, shush! Fool! I love doing it for you!” She kissed me, then continued. “One especially leaky weekend, I forgot to change my cotton balls overnight and slept off.” “And you know how sound a sleeper our milkybar is”, Asha jumped back into the story. By now, I had finished filling the second glass, and started with the third. “I woke up early on Sunday and was generally roaming around the house horny; this guy I was to hook up.
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