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’ ‘Pardon my ignorance, old son, but what the fuck does all that mean?’ ‘Dendrochronolgy is a method of dating the wood the thing’s painted on to make sure it wasn’t knocked up in Taiwan last week, something to do with matching ring-growth patterns in the original tree against known benchmarks. They can also use Radio Carbon dating. One sort of Carbon is mildly radioactive. Apparently you can tell something’s age by measuring the amount of radiation still present. The snag is that Carbon 14 dating isn’t that accurate. Something like plus or minus fifty or a hundred years. That doesn’t matter if you’re dealing with an ancient artefact from the ice age but if you’re trying to establish whether something is 13th or 14th Century, it doesn’t help much. ‘They use X-rays as a check to see if anything has been painted over. One of the cunning tricks of the forger is to take an old but worthless painting and slap their ‘ringer’ over the top. Thus the materials look the right age and make it. What was I going to do?Then she handed me money and a note "TAKE THIS LIST AND GOBUY THE THINGS ON IT..."The list was all personal items for a woman. The money wasobviously enough to pay for it and more... the envelope shegave it to me in was a pay envelope... if I ran she wasprobably going to tell Willie I stole it from her...Yup, I bought the stockings on the 1st floor, the perfume,the earrings, the maxi pads, the tampons, the Nair, theMidol, the curling iron, the peach scented shampoo, themascara, eyebrow pencil, lipstick and eyeliner. The works,I spent almost 150 dollars... when I got back at 3:00 andshe was standing there talking to Willie, I almost died...I'm dead, he stared at me... I walked closer and could hearher say, "there's the young man I was telling you aboutWillie."He walked towards me and she said, "THIS IS MY NEPHEWJERRY, GERRI THIS IS WILLIE."Then we walked to her car. She made me sit in thebackseat. As I slid across the leather, she had me undo mypants and push.
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