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I opened the door, she looked at me and said “I just got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, dance, get drunk, and have sex tonight. Are you doing anything?” I quickly replied “Nope, I’m free!” “Great” she said. “Can you watch my dog?”I’m seriously thinking about re-marrying my ex-wife ... but I’m pretty sure she’ll figure out I’m just after my money.A 13 year old weasel walks into a bar and approaches the counter. The bartender immediately notices the underage weasel. “Sir, you look extremely young. I can’t serve you even a single beer”. “Oh c’mon. You can’t just slide me one?” “Can’t and will not serve to anyone under age”. “Fine. Well what other things do you have?” “Well for non-alcoholic drinks I have tap water and bottled water, I have coffee, and I have pop. Which would you like?” “Pop” goes the weasel.Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. There was an alcoholic, one was a chain-smoker, and one was a homosexual.The. " I keep forgetting that. The two of you seem so mature. You're what now, nineteen? That's legal down here." It is?" Hmm, I'd have to remember that..."My dad used to give me a beer occasionally after a hot day working in the yard but I guess I haven't had enough to develop a taste for it."Bob gave me an incredulous look. "I'd include you in my next book, but no one would believe it—a college kid who doesn't live on beer?" he kidded me as we sat back enjoying the perfect weather ... and our brews.Eventually Sue and Beth came back, shopping bags in hand, and we were on our way.We'd barely cleared the harbor when our ladies disappeared into the cabin, only to reappear in bikinis that would have scandalized their grandmothers—well, maybe not Beth's grandmother, I thought, remembering some of the stories Joan had told of her younger days in the Free-Love Sixties.The Webbers dropped us off at Matt's beach house with a promise to see us the following day.While Beth started on our suitcases I.
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