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I admit Helen is intelligent. Nerdy, studious she would rather read than go out and play she already knew what she wanted to be when she grew up. The problem was explaining to Helen that Mom didn’t want to know Helen or myself we were history no longer part of her life I’m glad to say.I decided to be honest explained to Helen that Mom and found someone else and didn’t want to know us.Taking my hand “Dad I love you we will be alright I will look after you we don’t need her”Tears don’t come easily but they did that day we two against the world. Over the next few weeks Helen grew quiet not mixing with her friends becoming more attentive we often sat and watched films in the evening sitting on the settee usually with Helen cuddled up close. Has Christmas approached I asked Helen if she would like to go to the cottage over the holiday break the cottage my mother had brought years ago it overlooked Lake Derwent in the Lake District it was normally empty as my Mother didn’t like to sublet.A. And I am, Sierra. I know I will sound like the biggest idiot you can imagine, but I wasn't actually trying to break things off with you. I was so absorbed in my own stupid feelings that I didn't realise what that would look like to you, what not trusting you would do to you. And now, all I can do is be here and hope that I can somehow, eventually, undo what I did."I turned away, speaking softly over my shoulder. "I'm not sure that's possible."I saw him nod in my peripheral vision. "I'll be waiting. Just in case."I walked away without another word. I went straight to my tent, crawling in and collapsing on my bedroll. I barely managed to unbuckle my chest piece before I passed out.I didn't hear anything for the rest of the night, but my subconscious must have been listening, because when the song I'd chosen was played in the tent next to mine, it haunted my dreams. I couldn't remember the images when I woke, but the melody of Shania Twain's "It only hurts when I'm breathing" was stuck.
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