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Nonetheless I still was not seeing myself as a sexual being.’ ‘I will admit I was very conflicted, my intuition was screaming – Yes, Yes, Yes but all my upbringing and my conception of myself was saying – No way, this is totally crazy. When I’m calm I generally really listen to my intuitive side but it can get harder to hear when I’m excited and I was becoming really excited, without really understanding why. Mom wanted me to dance nude but my feeling was that only a slut would do such a thing. Well, I’m certainly not a slut. I was angry with her over that. I couldn’t understand why she would suggest such a thing especially since she has always been so modest and always encouraged us to be modest too. Anyway I did go with my intuition enough to agree to the dance, but not nude. Taking off my bathrobe to start that dance was probably the hardest thing I have ever done. As I said, my intuition was screaming Yes, but my mind was screaming No. When I got into the dance however, I was. Despite my day in a butt plug ithurt as he forced himself in, thrusting hard without regard for myfeelings and using me like a girl. Eventually with final, painful,thrusts he came. As I watched through my tears they took it in turns toscrew me, encouraged by laughs and jeers from the others. As the men madeto leave I felt utterly used and defiled. The doorman untied me andhanded me the buttplug to fit. It slid in easily now with such a lovelyfeeling that I suddenly realised that, with a loving partner, being takenlike that might be the perfect girly experience. Locking the buttplug inplace he sent me to the staff toilet and then to the dressing room where,he explained, I'd be prepared for sale.In the dressing room Annette slipped me out of my waitress uniform,helped me fix my makeup and showed me what I was to wear. A gorgeoussleeveless cocktail dress in black taffeta, tight fitting with a lowrevealing neckline and calf length frilled skirt. It looked fabulous. Sheled me through a.
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