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One day, the luck worked and I got a chance to reveal my feelings to her. There was strike in the city and we were only three staff members out of fifteen present in the office. It was me, Rubina and one tea boy. I got very happy and sent the tea boy to bank which was at distant place. I knew he would return in two hours and I had enough time to try to involve her. When the tea boy had gone I locked entry door and called Rubina in my room and asked her to sit for some conversation. She came and I deliberately said that she was very beautiful and I loved her so much. She at once did not react but kept her head down without showing me any feeling. She sustained her silence for five minutes which were too long for me. When she made eye contact with me I was little scared and was silent waiting for her reply. She said that it could be possible only on three terms; 1) I would always care her in official and personal life, 2) it would be complete secrete, 3) and, that I would not interfere. It was sort of like meditation, and at first I was terrible at it. I fidgeted, got distracted by Leliana tuning her lute, got sucked into listening to a conversation where Aedan was trying to convince Sten to tell him about the Qun. Every time my attention wandered, Alistair talked me back, and by the time I crawled into the tent I was sharing with Leliana, I had managed to keep my mind clear for about half an hour. He told me that it was 'pretty good for my first try'.Oh, good. I love being patronised. I had to concede that was probably just my insecurity speaking.We had set our usual watch rotation, waking one or the other of the Grey Wardens every couple of hours, and the night passed peacefully. In the morning, I had finally managed to get comfortable in my bedroll on the hard ground, and cursed loudly at Sten as he tromped through the camp waking everyone before it was even fully light out. Leliana had already gone out to start breakfast, and I was seriously considering going.
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