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..fast food, A/C, a bed, cellphones, alcohol...and then of course sex, girlfriends and wives...at which point I retreated to my tent in the hopes of not becoming anyone's "muse", especially the three over zealous horndogs of the bunch; McKinley, Ford, and Gilvarry. Big mistake on my part.I had been trying my best to not spend too much time shooting the shit with the guys since the stupid mail prank last month. I guess they got bored (and stupid) and thought it would be some fun at my expense but it didn't turn out that way. Instead they read out loud the entire letter from my boyfriend describing how brutally he was going to fuck me when I finally got back, to which he ended it with "I know you like is rough babe". AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME! Fucking great..... not only do they now know how much of a freak I am but I'm pretty sure that a couple of the guys were now going to rub a few out thinking about it for the rest of the fucking deployment.I spent the rest of the day in my tent. Restless. Needy. Internet down and bored with my fingers. I was looking for neither a meaningful relationship nor a meaningless fuck. A lesser southern belle might have settled for the coward's way out...go to a shit-kicking, line-dancing, Conway Twitty-listening redneck bar. But, I was afraid I'd run into my dear ole drunken Daddy so I continued to lie awake, agitated and contemplating. Almost immediately after humping my pillow in a most refined, ladylike manner, the revelation hit with the rapidity of diarrhoea after a Taco Bell burrito. Tomorrow I would search for sex toys. I hadn't owned one in ten years due to a traumatic masturbation accident. Inadvertently, I had squeezed so hard on the slender, purple vibe that the batteries came flying out the end like a Photon torpedo, striking Papa between the eyes. I had suggested he move three times to no avail. He eventually forgave me. Ma's forgiveness took considerably longer. Getting online while dishing out faux Italian food the.
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