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Doris sighed. “I just don’t know where they get the energy from. Anyway let’s have another cup of tea.” Doris plied the teapot.“D’ yer want any ‘elp doin’ t’ dishes ma-am?”“No leave them Julie. How are you getting back to the village?”“I dunno ma-am. T’ lady Shiro said she’d get someone ter drive us back like but I’ve still got me bike chained up at t’ top gate.”“Well don’t worry about that Julie. We’ll sort that out for you. I’ll get one of the delivery lads to drive it back in his van. How are you feeling today anyway?”“Better ma-am. I…. I ‘ad a long talk wi t’ lady Shiro last night an’ … well it’s ‘elped me see things a bit clearer mebbe. I’m sorry I’ve been so much trouble ma-am.”“Don’t be silly Julie! You haven’t. I’m just pleased that you’re feeling better. I’m glad that Shiro-san helped you put things into perspective.”“Well she didn’t say ovver much ma-am. Just sort o’ listened really.” Julie shook her head. “It were funny like. She didn’t seem a bit put out by me turnin’ up.. Or was there a better term for it?I'm ashamed to say that I was the direct opposite of Lydia when it comes to life and death. Where she celebrates life, I celebrate death. Where she always favoured life, I constantly sought death. I never did find out why I was like this, to see life as cheap and unworthy of treading on. To constantly seek my own end, repeatedly and without remorse. Maybe I'm just weird, maybe I'm one of those not suitable for a life in the fast lane.Regardless, it didn't change the fact that I attempted suicide many times. Often, for some very simple reasons, such as failing an exam, running on debts, dumped by my boyfriend and even having a B- in one of my subjects. I've tried many methods of suicide, but unfortunately, either it didn't work, or I was too chicken to do it.I've learnt from experience that a simple intention for suicide is not enough to end your life. You need to be in extreme pain and despair for it to work. Whoever said that committing suicide is a.
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