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.Present – Major "MadDog" MurdockMy threat assessment console lit up and I swore, "Mother Hen, don't you have anyone watching for bogeys?" Then I ordered my wingman, "Evasive maneuvers."Mother Hen replied, "Sorry, they must have been below radar. You have permission to go weapons free."Yeah we had four hostile aircraft on our six. We broke for the ground, started a tight turn and buzzed the hell out of the tower at Bob's Country Bunker. Then we climbed to see if we could shake these four bogeys.Mother Hen announced, "Tango Uniform, be advised we are scrambling aircraft to assist."Present – Ben – At Bob's country bunkerThe damn aircraft buzzed us so close it shook the tower and knocked us to the ground. Right on their asses were four ... shit, four aircraft from the Mexican air force! I yelled, "Stacy try to shoot down the four aircraft following the leading two!"She swung the fifty around fired a long burst and remarkably one of the Mexican aircraft began to smoke. How the hell did. He's grown quite fond of such phrases as "hump it like a reindeer" and "bounce up and down on Santa's candy cane, little girl". I worry that you would consider this taking your name in vain.The first thing I'd like to ask for this year is batteries. Lots and lots of batteries. I seem to go through them very quickly. Perhaps you might have your research and development team look into a vibrator that doesn't drain the batteries quite so quickly. Or maybe make one that will plug in. It's very frustrating to have a battery die on you right before you're done with it. I've also found that people at the store don't appreciate when you bring the vibrator with you in order to get the correct size battery. I know you understand though, don't you, Santa? There is nothing worse than getting home with the wrong size battery.Speaking of being frustrated, the next gift I'm requesting is for my husband. Do you have some sort of anatomical roadmap to the G spot? I've heard so much about this spot.
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