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Oh that's bloody marvellous ... There! Just there ... Don't stop! Oh Shit. Oh you bugger, I'm going to co ... Aghhhh."We got up late, and I had to phone in to let Shelley know that I would be in later. Antonia refused to get dressed for some time and tidied the bed. I was shaving when I heard her shout and laugh. I came out of the bathroom like Father Christmas with a shaving cream beard. Antonia was dancing around happily."What is it?" Look!" She pointed. The bottom sheet sported a little red spot of blood. "I bled, darling. I bled. That's the proof that I was a virgin." I didn't doubt it." I feel that I should keep this sheet to show our children one day." Well, we could hang it over the balcony." Why?" She looked puzzled."In olden days, when a Knight took his maiden wife to bed for the first time, they would hang the bottom sheet over the balcony in the morning so that the wedding guests could see that she was a virgin and that she had been deflowered." I don't think that your. 'Sorrowful memories of my lost grandmother had me crying like my mother when she discovered my career as a thespian lesbian. Fortunately, I remembered reading that masturbation is the best cure for depression. I think it was in Mother Teresa's autobiography. I grabbed my belongings and climbed the stairs to my former bedroom where many years ago I discovered the intricacies of a sexual soliloquy. I even petitioned the local historical society to honor that occasion with a shiny bronze plaque. The assholes declined.I had planned wisely, packing DVDs to fit any mood. With it nearing Halloween one choice was 'Eyes Without a Face'; the iconic French horror movie not the iconic Billy Idol song. I also brought one of my earliest flicks, 'Sinderella" where I was paddled repeatedly with a glass slipper by my evil stepmother, the legendary GILF Nina Hartley. Next, I crept into my former boudoir where my posters of the two Debbies (Harry and Gibson) were still proudly displayed along with my.
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