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’ ‘It’s a dump,’ said Andrea. ‘That doesn’t sound good,’ said Veronica. ‘You’re not gonna perform your best at Thorn’s without a good night’s sleep. You wanna stop over here at my place? I’ve got plenty of room for you guys.’ ‘As long as it’s no trouble…’ said Crystal. ‘Not only is it no trouble, but I absolutely insist.’ ‘What about our luggage?’ said Andrea, who was never content unless everything was properly organised. ‘I can go back and fetch all that,’ I volunteered. ‘If you could?’ Crystal pleaded in a way that left me no space to change my mind. It took me less than an hour to drive back from Newport to Providence and as always I was grateful for America’s wide roads and relatively good drivers. As a Brit, I was often bemused by signs that directed me to ostensibly homely destinations like Warwick, Coventry and Greenwich. If it weren’t for the fire hydrants on the roadside and the fact that I was driving on the right, I could almost believe I was driving through the West. "After all, it's a great little seafood place," I told her in this sing-song voice. For some reason, she didn't appreciate my suggestion.Chapter Two:It Grows and I Sleep Standing UpWe ended up at some cheesy-assed place called Barnacle's FishHouse, but we pissed off the waitress after a bunch of order changes andsome comments about her resemblance to Dolly Parton.I have no doubt she spit in our food. Then we got kicked out withoutpaying, just because a few of the French fries I threw at Sarah and Ginaended up in some old woman's hair. Oh, and we were told never to comeback. I was getting into a wired sort of Amy mood.It happened sometimes. Maybe because I was so short, or maybe because I'dbeen a guy at one time, but sometimes I just blew up full of helium andheaded for the upper atmosphere. It led to really dumb things, likeconfronting Heidi, falling off a railing at the skatepark, or nearlycheating on Tamara. I could feel it building, like a drug high, and Ididn't know where I'd go.
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