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‘Mmm,’ Dick said, reading the description after some of the burgers. ‘Volcano burger, huh?’ ‘Grill it with jalapenos, pepper jack cheese, and my secret spicy spread,’ Rosy laughed. ‘Guaranteed to give you some of the best heartburn you ever had.’ ‘Chili burger looks pretty good too,’ Dick agreed. ‘If the volcano’s a ten, the chili burgers about an eight on the butt burner scale,’ Rosy smiled. ‘Okay, all of this looks good, why are you showing me this?’ Dick asked. ‘Cops eat free,’ Rosy said. ‘You come in here in uniform? You can have a daily special or a house burger and onion rings, or fries free, and a soda. You in uniform, though? No alcohol. You off-duty and you show me your badge? First beer’s on the house. Second beer’s on you, and third beer, I call a cab, I am not having any drunk driving cops on my property.’ ‘Ma’am, we can’t do that,’ Dick argued. ‘Some would consider it a bribe.’ ‘It’s not a bribe, it’s a contribution,’ Rosy said, losing her cheerful demeanor. ‘It’s not a. But rather than babbling a long list of wishful ideas, I decide to try another approach, which would be to summarize it more concisely. ‘What do I like about sex?’ I reply. ‘I love to get sucked!’ ‘Is that it?’ you ask. ‘Is that all?’ you say, obviously doubting me and not very convinced it could be so simple. ‘No.’ I grin. ‘There’s more, a lot more. But I believe getting lots and lots of blowjobs and handjobs is the key–the secret to unlocking my passion!’ ‘Oh my my! You horny guy,’ you say with a laugh. Then with a bewildering expression, you make the following remarks: ‘But I don’t really get the big attraction to it. Why is it that all you guys are so hooked on oral and anal sex anyway? So what’s the big deal about it?’ ‘Anal sex?’ I reiterate. ‘Talk about organic … that’s about as raw as it gets!’ My sarcastic comment doesn’t quite win you over. I observe your smile cracked frozen between not knowing whether to laugh, which might encourage more of my humor, or to show disdain,.
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