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The problem, it turns out, was that I am not really very good at anything other than killing people. I tried going to college, but it was no better than the high school I barely made it out of. The kids, and they were truly kids, were all at least 10 years younger than me. I felt out of place almost all of the time.After that I tried a succession of jobs, failed at all of them, and had finally settled into a meaningless job as a security guard. I worked the four to midnight shift at a large pharmaceutical company, watching the people come and go who really ran the world. I had been off the teams for two years, and was quickly going down the tubes.I had started going to a nearby bar called Shakeys when I got off work to have a few drinks before I headed home. It was a noisy, smoky, metropolitan crowd with everything from rich kids looking for fun to blue collar guys like me just looking to get drunk. I sat at a booth at the back, sucking down a couple of beers when I saw her come into. "It was the only time the office was officially recognized, of course. Hoover himself died not long after that, and, ever since, we've kinda kept under the official government radar. There've been times when we've enjoyed a certain, well... favor in high-government circles..."When Nixon was elected President in 1968, he was briefed on OFUCK's existence by no less than Hoover himself. Excited by the success of the program, Nixon authorized enough funding for a third printing of "Unique and Exotic Sexual Positions," as well as more prominent ads for the application kits.In 1969, "Unique and Exotic Sexual Positions" recognized over 1000 of America's strangest and most inventive singles and couples. The book again sold out, this time producing a profit. Those who read it took to calling it the "Guinness Book of World Sex Records." Applications skyrocketed. People were clamoring for more application kits.The F.B.I. only arrested 5 people in the next two years."Of course, that was a true.
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