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"Wow. Um, no. I wouldn't want to do that." "If you feel that you are not up to it, if it's beyond you, if you have no attraction to me, if you don't feel something happening here... if you can't see yourself with me... then I should step back now." And I did. I took a step back from her. Things happen for a reason. Perhaps I was crying out for some excitement in my life. My mother would be mortified to think I was even contemplating it. But I wasn't mortified. I was in awe. Somehow this man seemed like everything I could have hoped for in my dreams and fantasies. I had no idea what he might expect of me specifically, but whenever he spoke, his words sliced through me unquestioningly. I knew I could trust him to take care of me. I knew it in my bones. I will never forget the look in his eyes as he stepped back from me, daring me, challenging me, pleading with me. It was a moment of choice and I knew it. Recalling what I'd read, I understood what was happening. I was being asked to. Images of women of course, all sorts of images – paintings, photographs, books, statuettes – you name it. When I first met him I didn’t know anything about that of course, like most of my clients he heard about me through a friend or business associate and after a brief chat on the phone we arranged to meet for dinner at one of my preferred hotels. We ate, talked, went up to the room he’d booked and had sex – perfectly straightforward sex, nothing strange or kinky. He was pleasant enough, very attentive and considerate and after we had finished and I was about to leave he said he looked forward to seeing me again. Plenty of men say that, I guess they feel they have to say something – it’s a bit like a guy saying ‘I’ll ring you’ to a girl he’s met or picked up somewhere, even though both of them know it’s unlikely that he will. Anyway Richard did, we met another couple of times over the next few weeks and it was only after the third time, again when I was just about to leave that he.
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