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After talking about it a while I felt kind of bad even mentioning it. As months passed I got used to the occasional sleepwear around him and didn't think much of it.The following summer we went with John and his steady girlfriend at the time to an island. We had a very secluded beach and the second day there the girls went topless. A few people on the beach had gone totally nude and one afternoon after many drinks we all decided to see what it was like. It was the first time I had seen her nude in front of people and I can't tell you what a turn on it was.I told her about it that night an she thought it was a little weird that I would get a turn on from of other men and john seeing her but she laughed and told me she would go nude on the beach more on that vacation. Well she and Johns girlfriend did just that, not only did they go nude at the beach but would walk back to the room in a towel and lose it as soon as they walked in and stay nude as we snacked or had a refreshing drink. I’m just trying to understand Jill’s situation.’ I focused my attention on my lunch and we ate the rest of our meal in relative silence. JILL I know Joel thinks I was living inside a self-constructed wall when he met me, but that’s not exactly how I think of it. It felt more to me like I was sleepwalking through life. I kept myself numb from everything that was going on around me so I wouldn’t have to feel all the losses I had experienced. One day I was a daughter with loving parents, I lived in a nice home, and I had a close circle of friends . . . and the next day I was very alone. Life had lost all of its meaning for me, so I just lived inside myself, silently watching my days pass by, one by one, through unseeing eyes. The only time I really felt alive was when I was playing the piano. It had been my passion before the accident, and afterwards I had learned how to play from feel rather than sight, which wasn’t as big of a leap as it might seem. I wasn’t the pianist I used to be,.
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