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” Penny wouldn’t call them problems, she was late to class once, she got in trouble for talking with Jessica once after being told to be quiet, she got in pretty big trouble for kicking Richy Dorney in the balls once, and now this. “A fourth disciplinary infraction can result in a one week expulsion, young lady,” Mr. Schroeder explains gravely. Penny’s stomach suddenly feels uneasy, her parents would kill her! “Or you can accept a spanking instead.” Penny is shocked by this, she never heard of any student ever being spanked. Was it legal? She wonders. “You have one minute to decide, Penny. If you decide not to accept the spanking, I’ll call your mother for you to let her know you’ve been expelled,” says Mr. Schroeder. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t get expelled for this!” Penny pleads. Neither man says anything. She notices Mr. Corey checking his watch. “Okay, I’ll take the spanking,” she says. Mr. Schroeder moves a lamp and a folder off of his large desk and instructs Penny to bend forward. " NO! I mean I didn't get them. I didn't know what they were about."I thought back over the jokes that Monica, Lisa and I had told. Most of them were pretty basic. Either about sex or, in Monica's case, bodily functions. "What didn't you get?" I asked, puzzled."Like the Helen Keller joke."It took me several seconds to remember the joke she was asking about. "You mean, why does Helen Keller wear hot pants?" So people can read her lips," Dawn finished, and from the corner of my eye I could see her shrug.It made sense to me, I didn't see what the problem was. "You know what hot pants are, don't you?" Duh! Really really tight shorts, like the kind that Lisa wore to practice on Thursday."Actually, I thought, those were several categories above hot pants. Inferno pants maybe."Well, when girls wear hot pants, everyone can see their bodies really clearly." Yeah?"Suddenly I saw the problem. "Spread your legs wider." She looked confused but opened up her knees. "What do you call that?" I asked,.
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