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"You're cute," she says, "and I'd like to date you, but I've got a bad case of gonorrhoea."Mick pulls his friend to the side and whispers, "Paddy, go look in the dictionary and see what Gonorrhoea means. If it's okay, give me the okay sign."So Paddy goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Mick the big Thumbs Up.Three weeks later Mick is laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of gonorrhoea. Mick says to Paddy, "Why the hell did you give me the thumbs up?" Well Mick, in the dictionary, it say gonorrhoea affects only the privates & we're Lance Corporals now!"These are compliments of JimDISNEYLANDTwo blondes were going to Disneyland. They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They started crying and turned around and went home.FLORIDA OR MOONTwo blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away ... Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says. You're not going to, are you?" Someone should start singing something. Look at us, a couple of sad sacks sitting at a bar, drinking 'cause we don't know what else to do." You seem to be doing alright," she said."Holding one's liquor is the single-most important thing a young man learns in the Army," Hal declared. "It's how I got my stripes." He tossed down the last of his drink and signaled the bartender for two more. Lola was laughing."Tell me the story of that," she demanded, "of how you got your stripes." Everyone was drunk. I'm the only one who could still stand up," Hal explained. "The Captain told me to march the men back to camp and when we got there he made me a Sergeant."Lola gave him a curious look for a few moments then started laughing again. She pushed him on the shoulder. "Go on," she said in a slight slur. "Stop pullin' my leg."Hal raised his glass but only sipped enough to let the fresh anesthetic wet his lips. He stopped talking; he was out of jokes for the moment..
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