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“I tried that,” he replies, “but then I couldn’t breathe”.( This one actually makes sense ... well, sort of... )An Italian tourist asks a blond man: “Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”To which the blond man replies: “If they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.”A guy is walking along Whyte Avenue when he comes across a lamp partially buried in a garbage can.He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.A genie appears and tells him he has been granted one wish.The guy thinks for a moment and says, “I want to live forever.”“Sorry,” said the genie, “I’m not allowed to grant eternal life.”“OK, then, I want to die after the Liberals balance the budget and eliminate the debt.”“You crafty little bastard,” said the genie.These Are Compliments of John AA teenager had just gotten her learners permit, and her parents allowed her to drive them to church. After a hair raising ride, the mother got out of the car and said “thank you”.“Any time” the daughter said.The mother. "Well she calls mea little boy all the time and I think you should change her into one?" What do you mean?" "Make her act like a nine-year-old boy." "How dothey act?" "Well you know, they don't care what they wear. You alwayssee them wearing nothing but a T-shirt and jeans. They don't mindwearing the same clothes three days in a row. They wouldn't take a bathunless their mom reminded them to. They love to go to the backyard andsit in the dirt and play with trucks or action figures. They love tolook under rocks and pick up and play with slimy bugs. They don't carewho is around when they scratch themselves or when they fart. Theyactually love making farting and other gross sounds. They actually likegross things. Jokes that have to do with bodily functions like fartingor barfing they think are the funniest thing around. They would preferto wrestle with a boy than to date him. You know make her act likethat." OK, if you promise not to argue with your sister anymore, when.
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