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I turned my head and found myself nose to nose with a smile and a set of laughing eyes. She rapidly kissed my cheek, speed being her defense against morning breath.My Lord! That woman brought “bright-eyed and bushy-tailed” to an absurd level. No sane person is so chipper in the morning.“No time, I gotta pee.” I touched my lips against her forehead as I clamored over her on my way to the lavatory.“Need any help?” she asked as she reached for my genitals.“No thanks, I’ll handle it.” I brushed her hand away and dashed for the latrine.Someday I’m going to have to write a book: Zen and the Art of Elimination. I usually mediated when I took a dump. Hey, we’ve got to think of something when we do our business. I figured I might as well use the process of voiding to find enlightenment along with relief.The morning chill had left the potty seat so cold my balls wanted to climb back inside my body. I squirmed and tried to find a warm spot as shivers ran up my spine and rattled my teeth. What. " No." You lose seven!?!" the voice said, "Out of TEN?"A few fixtures fell from the walls and a block of tile dropped ... which caused the ceiling to complain."Why?" asked the voice."The war is unpopular. The heroes are the ones that flee to Canada. Draft card burners abound. Students won't take Reserve Officer Training," said one of the two (unpronounceable) members."Straight men are claiming to be gay. The smartest go to college ... even if they have to go for years and years," explained the other (unpronounceable)."The democrats are actively seeking to stop the use of firearms in America, the universities have been subverted by Situation Ethics and the lawyers sue at the drop of a hat. Men are afraid," said Elizabeth.The ceiling lisped, "They're afraid to speak out, they're afraid of women. Women are leaving traditional roles behind. We tried recruiting in the Soviet Union. Men who are perfect for our needs either turn themselves in or disappear."Elizabeth said, "Recovering rings.
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