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She can't help much with the moving, I'm afraid - she's pregnant." I know, I saw her when she got out of the car. She's carrying quite a load on her own!" Yeah, I'm afraid so. Poor girl - we wanted to be done with this whole moving thing by now, but the first house we looked at, the owner's took a higher offer on. So we had to start looking all over again. Then when we found this place, our financing fell through - seems like it has taken forever for us to get this far! We would have just called the whole thing off until after the baby came, but we would have had to sign another year's lease and we didn't want to stay there that long." I can understand that. When is the baby due?" Well if she can hold out that long, the middle of July. But it may come a little sooner than that. Her family leans towards slightly early births. Her sister's baby was at thirty-six weeks when it decided it'd had enough and came out to see the outside world."This is her first I assume?" Yeah... we've only. What’s theproblem?”Customer: “I’m in the Outback with the girlfriend and she’s been stungon her thigh by a hornet and now her vagina has completely closed up!”Australian Telephone Operator: “Bummer!”Customer: “Great advice! Thanks mate, bye.”One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. “Tie me up,” she purred, “and you can do anything you want.” So he tied her up and went golfing.A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and raninto the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of herlungs, “Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!”The husband said, “Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff ormountain stuff?” “Doesn’t matter,” she said. “Just get out.”A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he’s sending a friend over to look at a horse. His buddy asks, ‘How will I recognize him?’ ‘That’s easy; he’s a midget with a speech impediment.’ ... So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he’s looking for a.
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