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Before they’d even got out of the shop Sammy and Django had cracked their cans and were drinking. They were also spilling rather a lot of it down their shirts. They shoved past a dawdling huddle of shoppers and made a bee-line towards George who was chatting to a woman who looked a bit like an owl in her horn-rimmed spectacles. ‘Is there any truth in it, Mr Timpson?’ she was saying, earnestly. ‘Any truth in what?’ George replied. ‘You know… What you’ve said on your board… about the world ending?’ ‘Don’t you worry, my dear,’ said George. ‘I can see you’ve got a nice little guardian angel perched on your shoulder, so I think you’ll be okay.’ ‘Oh, how lovely!’ The lady chuckled and kind of fluttered away in the direction of a sweet shop. ‘Look at that silly so-and-so,’ said Sammy. ‘You’d think he’d have something better to do than scaring the crap out of people.’ ‘Yeah,’ said Django. ‘What is this ‘The End is Nigh’ cobblers? Let’s sort it.’ Sammy came up behind George. The wording on. And this is to rent, you said?”“Yessir.”The man brought out a large measuring tape, but when he tried to measure his waist, Charlie couldn’t lift his arms.“Sir, I need to measure your waistline.”“I can’t move very much,” said Charlie.“Sir?”“I can’t lift my arms right now. They hurt too much.”“I see. Can you at least loosen them up a little. Let your arms slacken a little bit, in other words.”The salesman nimbly slipped his measuring tape between his wrists on both sides of his waist. While doing this, he bumped him by accident a couple of times while measuring, and then bumped him a few times more. It was an uncomfortable procedure. After it was done, the salesman escaped to the back of the store with a sigh of relief and the tiniest trickle of sweat running down his temple. After a record-breaking ten minute search for a tuxedo that would fit him, he presented Charlie Zero the only tuxedo he could find.“But I can’t try it on now,” said Charlie.“And why not?” asked the salesman.“I.
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