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He barely spoke to me for two years afterthat, not until after they med-evacked me out of Falujah with shrapnelin both legs. I wanted to prove something to him, but I never wanted tohumiliate him in public." Is that the worst thing?" What?" You're being humiliated in public; is that the worst thing about allthis?" I tried to keep my tone neutral. I didn't want him to feelcornered."No," he admitted. "Truth be told I've done a fair job of humiliatingmyself over the years, even before Timothy came along." So, what is it that makes this so impossible to deal with?" My son is dead, and he died for nothing." I made no reply. What could Isay? 'People die senseless deaths every day. Deal with it!' That was nocomfort. "I've seen people die horrible deaths," he continued. "My ownfather was two years dying of cancer. When I was a kid, one of thedoctors our family went to on the base found out he had some kind ofbrain cancer and killed himself. He knew what the treatment was like andhe knew. Why did you say them? Why were you drunk?" Grace asked not looking up from her book. "Two reasons, one bigger than the other, but two," he said moving closer to her, "One was because I thought you were mad at me for something so you tricked me into getting that close and then leaving." He looked at her for some kind of a response but there was none, so he went on. "And because... because they're shipping us out in about a month or two." Grace's head shot up and she threw her book onto the ground and tackle hugged him. "Matty you can't leave! They promised you those days off!" Matty hugged her back, happy she was back in his arms. "They can do whatever they want. They need my unit overseas so I have to go, unless I have a family and I don't." Grace had begun to cry holding tightly onto his shirt as she did as though he was going to be taken away from her if she let go. "Hey, stop crying, Sweetheart!" Matty said pulling away from her and sitting up with her on his lap. "You have shed.
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