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I've worked for this moron for seven years. I'm the top-selling author for Red Velvet Publications, Adult Fiction in Paperback, 12325 Golden Blvd, just next door to the Pink Pussycat Gentlemen's Club.My mother doesn't know I write dirty books for a living."So you've got the animal thing, then there's all those other words--you know, certain nouns and adjectives and those, you know those, uh, metaphors that smut writers use over and over that are ridiculous." Um, can you give me an example or two, boss, I'm kind of not...." Juices." Pardon me?" Juices." He leaned back and puffed, he was loving this, feeling superior."'My hot juices were running down my leg.' 'He lapped up every drop of my pussy juices.' 'I could feel my warm juices....'" Right, okay, I get it." I mean who talks like that, for Christ's sake? Nobody, that's who." He punctuated with the long cigar. "It's pure smut-writer bullshit and I want you to change it." Change it? I'm sorry, I...." My lips kept moving but no sound. “Thank you,” the trooper sighed. “Don’t ever do that again.”I opened my eyes and slowly exhaled. The lawman had returned his gun to his holster after he took the weapon from Sheila. Good advice.The statie flashed his blue lights and joined the flow of westbound travelers. We sat in collective silence as he vanished in the distance.“That was different,” Sheila frowned and shook her head.With a sigh, she tucked the ticket into a pouch over the visor and leaned forward as she checked her mirror for approaching vehicles.“Stopover there, I need to use the can.”I pointed to a Starbucks a few hundred yards ahead of us and crossed my legs and gritted my teeth. I needed a new change of underwear, and having none, I needed to clean up before I went commando. The whole miserable encounter had scared the shit out of me, and the proof was in my shorts.“Did you just fart?” Darlene kicked the back of my seat and snickered.“Something like that,” I responded.I slid my sliding seat and reduced my lady.
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