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He was always willing to spring for pizza or a flick. So why did I fall for him? How could he do that to me? Most of all, how could I love him and hate him at the same time. The memory seeps through me and all the pain from that day came flooding through. I could not stop the tears from falling, this was the first time since it happened that I had the opportunity to feel real emotion. The pain I endured that night hit me hard. I willed the tears to stop but the stubborn tears wouldn’t subside. I curled up as small as I could, drawing the covers over my head. I just wish I would disappear and this chest pounding pain was a dream I want to wake up tomorrow and all this pain be gone. I yearn for it to go back to normal, why can’t I just be normal again? My sobs echoed in the dark, empty room. It seemed like years had gone by before the tears finally disappeared from my aching eyes. Maybe if I got up and heated some tea maybe, just maybe I could sleep this night away, unlike the others.. Probably for fear of her relationship with Chris being exposed.Years later when I was home from college, I went out one night to a party and Ashley was there. Since we were both in college and closer in maturity, we actually hung out and drank together. Later in the night when she was quite intoxicated, she brought that night back up and I, without inhibitions, told her what happened after she begged for details. She had always guessed at what had occurred, behind my closed door. I even told her about hearing Chris and her Mom downstairs and what it sounded like was happening.She said, "I know...they think they are so quiet and started laughing!"I said, "I can't believe you knew!"She said, "Yes, it happened every time Chris came to visit. They were old sorority sisters in college and after Dad died, Mom started seeing Chris again secretly."We were kind of quiet for a moment when Ashley looked me dead in the eyes said, "I'll tell you something if you promise never to tell anyone."I.
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