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He laughed so hard he fell heavily against the trunk of one of the trees.“Engineers ... Morons, every God damned one of em. Trust an engineer to find the most complicated solution to the simplest problem.”He started dancing little circles around every tree trunk. He skipped up to every branch and dosey doed around them. I suddenly realized that he was imitating me or perhaps mocking me.“What did you expect me to do?” I said. “You just bull your way through the branches. You’ve probably built up a tolerance to any toxins or poisons from the plants.”“You’re the engineer,” he smirked. “Why don’t you engineer a brilliant new tool to quickly and efficiently keep the branches from scratching you and clear them out of the way. It should probably be something lightweight, that you don’t have to reload and is small enough to carry with you. Preferably something you could use with one hand.Oh, and since you’re an engineer, I have to tell you that it shouldn’t have any type of cord, battery. Well mostly grapes.Well all right all grapes.Fermented grapes.well Wine.I have wine for dinner.People that wonder if there glass is half empty or half full are missing the point.IT’S REFILLABLE.Did you know that two or three glasses of wine a day reduce you chance of giving a shit!Not to be technical but according to chemistry Alcohol is a solution.I am not a alcoholic, alcoholics need a drink. I already have one.Sometimes when I reflect back on all of the wine I drink, I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think of all the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams.If I didn’t’ drink the wine they might lose their jobs and all of their hopes and dreams would be shattered. Then I think to myself that it is better to drink this wine than shatter all of their hopes and dreams, than worry about my liver. Jack HardyI only drink a little but when I do I turn into someone who drinks a lot.Dear alcohol your promised to make me prettier, funnier and a better dancer.I.
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