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He'd heard the 'almost made it' stories from Jim a number of times. But, they were fraternity brothers, bound to mutual understanding, and Rich was a patient man."Well, what happened this time?" he asked.Jim drew a deep breath."I was dating this girl named Hildy for most of the summer. In fact, I just saw her night before last. She's a receptionist at the company I worked for last summer." A working girl," Rich proclaimed, "sounds promising." It was," Jim went on. "One night I had her in my car. Her panties were down around her ankles and my pants were down around mine. I was on top of her, ready to go in. At the last second, I just couldn't do it."Rich shook his head and stared out the window."How could you not do it?" Well, I didn't have any Trojans and I asked her if she was on the pill. She said 'no' and a chill ran down my spine. I backed off." Didn't want to hear the 'pitter-patter' of little receptionist feet? I can understand that. But why didn't you go for it another time?". I must shake the rainwater out of my fur beforeentering the house - not after.9. I will not come in from outside,and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.10. I will not sit in the middle of the livingroom, and lick my crotch11. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’,so when I play with him and he makes that noise,it’s usually not a good thing.P.S. Dear God:When I get to Heaven,may I have my testicles back?Some Random Thoughts... Someone Just Honked to get me out of my parking spot faster so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.So I was at the bar last night and the Waitress Screamed... “Anyone know CPR?”I said, “Hell I know the entire alphabet.”Everyone laughed... Well everyone except this one guy!Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up too!Unless you are in prison!From a friend of J & G.Three pilots “flew west” on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. ‘In honor of the season’ Saint Peter said, ‘You must each possess something that symbolizes.
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