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All this means my sex life is populated by a string of tradesmen and semi professional sports coaches who are willing to waive their fee for services rendered in exchange for a bit of rough sex and a grope session with yours truly. It is all soulless, passionless sex just a means to kill the urge and ward off the black depression I was slipping into.At the other extreme Cara's husband is an engineer for a mining company and is usually away from home for 2 or 3 weeks each month. When he does come home Cara says the sex is passionate and intense but she also found diversions with strangers when her sexual urges became too much for her to hold on till he got home. But she also admitted it was fun to have sex this way as the men's esteem was improved by having a woman throw herself at them.As I caught up with Cara and her lifestyle I discovered she was a gadget junkie and had to have the latest of every thing. In exchange for a few blow jobs and sex sessions with a local electrician she. I don’t want to go down on Ben Sheppard, but I did like it when Ben put his hand on my throat and when he spanked me. I liked it when he fucked me senseless first with that dildo then himself. I liked it when he teased my ass. I liked that he just took charge and did what he wanted with me. But I also like that he is a good-hearted man and that I feel safe around him. I like that he takes care of me in little ways—buying me dinner or fixing my toilet. If someone mugged us, I know Ben would stand between me and the guy with the gun. I like that. That’s who I am. I now know who ‘I’ am. It feels so good. I feel so confident now. This is who I am. This is what I like. This is what I want. But what about the ‘love’ in ‘I love you’? What is love? I told Josh I loved him. I meant it. I’m sure he meant it when he told me he loved me. But he wasn’t the man for me, obviously. Since having Danny, I’ve come to realize love is a giving and a receiving. It’s helping the other person grow in.
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