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Wotaanz smiled. “If you will listen, I will tell you.”All four nodded eagerly.“I am no bard, but will endeavor to do the events justice. I see that you are affected by the cold, so I will be as brief as I can.” Wotaanz began. “I was an explorer in my youth. I wandered all across the North, which looked a lot different before they Arrived. I was the first to discover how to train the worgh, though I will admit it was by accident. Even then, this was the highest mountain north of the Alfair forest kingdoms. No one could see the summit, because a permanent blizzard blanketed the place with snow. Avalanches were a daily occurrence. There were legends of men reaching the top, but no one I ever met claimed the feat. Many tried, and all died or failed to return. I decided I would be the first.”“My two companions and I began our ascent and even with the slope, became lost. We wandered from one side to the other, always trying to climb higher. After a long time, an avalanche revealed a cave. Not too dead. Just dead enough to serve as a plot hook, at least. Athletes went unsponsored as Nike's sweatshops had to close due to an increasingly short supply of ' I swear it's not slave laboured' orphans. No, really, Nike pays their sweat-shop workers almost as well as Nestlé make use of debt to enslave people! Yay, equality! Like I was saying, things we're looking grim. It looked like humanity was going to be wiped out, once and for all. Not just by one great apocalyptic event, but by several smaller, seemingly insignificant events. Humanity was dying. It was for the better, really.Much to the despair of everyone this apocalypse did not have a happy ending. Humanity persevered like the cockroaches your landlord insists he hasn't seen at all and would you get off his back, please! Anyway, give or take a couple of centuries and we'll be right back to cutting down trees so we can produce paper pamphlets for humanitarians to hand out and for other people to ignore them. In other.
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