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People are drawn to me. Men especially. But I’ve only met two people in my life who just did not like me, and that was okay, because I found them despicable anyway. They were not good people. They were not kind people, or even honest people. If a person has redeeming qualities, or is trying to become better, I respect that, and I give them credit for it. After my childhood, I didn’t speak to my father for over 7 years. When I finally felt ready to forgive him, and had seen that he had been trying to fix the things that made him so terrible, I opened that communication again. Guardedly, and frankly it’s still guardedly after over a decade. But we have a good relationship now. I respect where he was coming from, and his intentions were always good, even if his actions were far from it. It also doesn’t affect me tangibly anymore – he has no control over my life. I have built the life I wanted. Step by painful step. I’ve been hugely successful because I will not give up, and I will. They had ones here that wouldn’t reveal where the scars were. The young woman moved away from the sales table and Ann saw her move to the more expensive racks in the store. She was picking out what was obviously a very expensive red silk nightgown—just the sort of frivolous expense Ellen would have made two years ago. Ann felt herself praying that the young woman wouldn’t buy the nightgown—that she would be moved to reject such expensive play toys while there was still time to make more of her life. That she would realize how fleeting life was and how many needs people other than herself had, that she’d give some thought to what Christmas as all about. And Ann’s heart fell as she saw the young woman take the red silken nightgown from the rack and carry it over to the sales desk. Ann heard the young woman telling the salesclerk that she was buying it for a Christmas cruise to Bermuda. And Ann was miserable. She turned away and walked out of the store. She beat herself up in her mind.
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